Random Thoughts...

So. It's 2010. Really? Already 7 days into the new year and I still feel like a sitting duck. Hopefully things will begin to change soon... Sitting here doing nothing but watching the dog, cleaning, doing homework or playing games... Is going to drive me insane.
I have been thinking A LOT about getting another tattoo(s) and found a couple new designs I really like... I'll feature those later. I finally broke down and expressed how much I missed my nose ring :( I had it for so long, it was part of my persona.... Without it I feel so.... bleh. Maybe one day when I get a real job I can finally get it back.
Anywho... Back to my rantings about my (hopefully soon) new ink...

Pretty nice eh?... Or how about..

I had to doctor the last one up a bit... Nothing MS paint couldn't do for me :)
So, there is a new puppy in the household. His name is Bruiser. He's a Jack Russell/Chihuahua mix and adorable. See for yourself...

Told ya.
My little chihuahua Taj is having a hard time adjusting but she'll come around once she realizes he is one of her own...
This is my little Taj ^_^


Okay, so I realize this is a good way for me to get my thoughts out in the open even if no one reads it...
It sometimes takes a tough situation for you to realize 3 things...
1. Appreciate who you have with you
2. Appreciate your surroundings
3. Recognize who you really want to be by your side if something goes down
I guess you could say that although I'm adopted, I'm my fathers' daughter. I mean this because both my Step & Dad have a lot of pride. They won't ask for help unless they REALLY need it. I recognized this at an early age and stopped depending on what others can do for me. Basically, I hate asking for anything. This doesn't mean I'll just take it, it means I will find my own way out of it no matter how long it may take. I'm very much used to that. However at the same time I have also found myself in the position of being 'the giver' and give WAY to much without any kind of return. Not that I expect it.. Sometimes you just have to do things out of the goodness of your heart and know that somehow you helped someone.
That has always been something I have thrived off of... helping those that genuinely need the help. But, unfortunately, I have seen what happens when this backfires. It's not hard to figure out really... people end up getting used to the giving and get spoiled. When they can't get what they want, they complain... maybe even throw a fit... and eventually get over it.
I've never really understood why anyone would burn their bridges knowing good and well that they may need them later on down the road. Oh well.
Another thing I don't get... Porn. I'm not going to honestly say I've never seen it (flicks, pics & stories) but what does it really do? I don't mind anyone being a collector or even indulging in it but sometimes my mind wanders into the area where I feel like complete garbage because my body doesn't look like that or my butt, breasts and thighs look nothing like Buffy the Body or Coco. I think that may be the only thing I really hate about it... Other than the cheesy movie plots and EXTREMELY fake emotion put into it.
But whatever... I don't mind walking with my head held high and an extra 'pep' in my step. I try not to let things get to me and sometimes it works... I guess when it comes to the things that really matter (such as the way I look or who I am) I tend to get flustered. I really don't have a reason to given all of the things I've been through and the accomplishments that I've made but sometimes I guess its just not good enough.
I do love where I am right now, I mean minus being unemployed... I love my life. Those who are around me I cherish dearly. This has already been made known to those that need to know.

My mind has gone completely blank... So I suppose I'll go ahead and draw to a close here.

Christmas...

... is finally over and I couldn't be happier this year. Anyone that knows me knows I'm pretty festive about the holidays what with cards & candy but this year was a bitch to handle. So here's how it went down... I lost my job back in October but through no fault of my own. I've steadily been receiving unemployment since then, should tell you a lot. So, since then I enjoyed a great 7 day vacation on a cruise with my wonderful boyfriend and been looking for a job.

You see, I was with my company for 4 years... FOUR YEARS!!! And out of the blue, I'm not good enough for the company. But whatever, that's history now. They did me a favor. I know there's a better opportunity out there for me especially with my degree waiting on me :)

So anyway, since Christmas 2004 I haven't felt the same about the holidays... Losing my Grammy in March 2005 didn't make that any better. I had promised her that I would take her to Chapel Hill so she could see the Nativity Event they hold in the solarium but her cancer had progressed so severely, that was impossible to do. So, she knew it would be her last Christmas so she tried her best to live out the rest of her life on a positive note. But it was always her 'thing' to deck out the house with lights and play Christmas music... she always had presents for everyone no matter how little she had... She really was the best.

I never did get the chance to make good on that promise to her...

Meh.. call me sappy but damnit this has been bothering me for YEARS! Which always tends to put a damper on my plans... I don't know how to change it and I'll be damned if I go 'talk' to someone about it. Like they would be able to level. But I guess I'll figure it out later.

Anywho, didn't get the chance to see my Dad this year... He was out of town.. the rest of my family is up north and there's no way you could pay me to spend a holiday out there. It was rather sad... I mean sure! I had my hunny's family & friends to hang with but there's something about having your own family in touch with you around that time of the year... and then they wonder why I get mad.

To top things off, my 'best friend' decided she is going to be mad at me because I 'declined' an invite to go to a get together... First and foremost, I am NOT the type of person to decline an invite to be with my friends unless something was seriously wrong. Mind you, I had explained ALL of this LONG before the invite was extended... conveniently forgot I guess. But I find it a bitch that someone could turn their back on you over something like that when I've done EVERYTHING to help make things easier for them. I've never asked for anything in return. EVER. Nice to know when you're there for your friends, they aren't there for you.

So... this has basically turned into a sappy bitching session but you know what!?!? I feel hella better. Of course it's not a cure all but it helped. So on the up side... I'm still steady looking for a new position and actually had a all back last week. I hope this works out. The most positive thing I can look forward to is my boyfriend's smiling face everyday. He has been there for me for at least a year an a few months now... He's like the epitome of happiness and always on my level. Okay, I'll go ahead and cut it short here.. until next time!!

2009 AMA's

So apparently the AMA's came with a lot of surprises and A LOT of shitty performances.. Have no clue what I'm talking about?!?! Let me enlighten you!!!

Almost as great as Lady Gaga committing suicide for all the kids to see...
Oh well... NEXT...
The winners for AMA 2009 awards are:

• Michael Jackson: Favorite Male Pop/Rock

• Michael Jackson: Favorite Pop/Rock Album

• Taylor Swift: Favorite Soul/R&B

• Taylor Swift: Best Artist

• Taylor Swift: Favorite Female Adult Contemporary

• Taylor Swift: Favorite Female Pop/Rock

• Taylor Swift: Best Country Female Artist

• Keith Urban: Best Country Male Artist

• Gloriana: T-Mobile Breakthrough Artist

• Black Eyed Peas: Favorite Pop/Rock Band

Coupled with her 5 awards, Taylor Swift walked away with one of the best performances of the night. I've also heard that Janet Jackson's performance was pretty good as well... I have yet to visit youtube to prove this ;)

Respect

Respect

I respect, the values, taught by my parents.
I respect, another mans religion, or color or creed.
I respect, and follow, the will of my maker.
I respect, the truth, no matter how unpopular.

I respect, a good work ethic.
I respect, the values on which this country was founded.
I respect, those who would champion the under privileged.
I respect, those of differences, who seek common ground.

I respect, the concept of monogamy.
I respect, those faithful to principal.
I respect, change, that is for the better.
I respect, an honest days work.

I respect, the great talents of the entertainment world.
I respect, thought provoking works, of the written word.
I respect, the unquenchable thirst of creativity.
I respect, the farmers and workers that toil in the field.

I respect, the good in man.
I respect, the virtue in woman.
I respect, the innocence of children.
I respect, the generosity of mankind.

Most of all...I respect the maker of
life and the love, that each of us
have within us.

I Believe

I Believe

I believe that the sun shines after the rain
I believe if you don't get hurt you'll never gain
I believe in not doing things the easy way
I believe that being selfish doesn't pay

I believe in a second chance
I believe in a life long romance
I believe there is life after death
And standing up to a life of mess

I believe in love at first sight
I believe that revenge isn't right
I believe that first impressions last
And there is nothing better then a good laugh

I believe that dreams do come true
I believe there's destiny for me and you
I believe that good things come to those who wait
I believe love never arrives too late

I believe something good comes from something bad
I believe that for tears of happiness there are tears of sad
I believe everyone has a guardian angel
And the good you do will be rewarded well

I believe sometimes there is no explanation
I believe money can't buy people's affection
I believe you don't know what you've got until it's gone
I believe a new day arrives with every dawn

I believe a smile can be contagious
I believe in being very outrageous
I believe in living with no regrets
I believe that life is as good as it gets

I believe that God watches over us
I believe the little things are worth the fuss
I believe you have each friend for a reason
I believe you will get punished for treason

I believe that what comes first is family
I believe we should all live in harmony
I believe in making the most of a beautiful day
And it's not the end until everything's okay

I believe absence makes the heart grow fonder
I believe you will lose if you sit and wonder
I believe every experience teaches you a lesson
And nothing cures better then a drinking session

I believe everyone has one true love
I believe sometimes we need a little shove
I believe the whole world is a stage
I believe we only get better with age

I believe that to learn you have to live
I believe that to love someone you have to give
I believe one moment can change your life
And there's still help when you're in strife

I believe everyone has one true friend
I believe love helps a broken heart mend
I believe in the power of a song
And things will change before too long

I believe living is the best experience
I believe in not laughing at other people's expense
I believe it's hard to watch a lover leave
And when they're gone all you can do is breath

I believe to always look on the bright side
I believe that life is just one big ride
I believe when I die people will grieve
But it's ok because I believe

The Kiss

The Kiss :*

What's in a kiss; how many there-be...?
'So many, it boggles the mind's reality…'
A kiss can be a greeting- "of body and soul-! '
It's an unspoken language, telling more than "what's told."
It is sometimes "a spark-, " to light one's flame…
Or often "self-flattery" to play one's game.

There's the 'kiss of friendship-, '
The 'kiss of guile…, '
The 'kiss of SINCERITY, '
The 'kiss of style…, '
There's the 'kiss of Life" and the 'kiss of Death! '
There's the 'kiss that steals one's breath away…"
And one "that prays it will last all day! "
There's the 'kiss that frees the soul…'
Also one that 'detours from one's goal…! '
There's the kiss of a parent, the "kiss of a child…, "
The "kiss of curiosity- running wild…! "
The kiss of respect; and a kiss of shame…,
A kiss of honor- and "a kiss to tame…! "
There's a kiss of the reserved-, "perceived amorous- (the same): "
A kiss of 'the insecure-, ' to win their ball game!
There's a 'kiss of the stagnant; ' the 'kiss of the free…! "
Also a 'kiss of those secure-, " as the best there can be…

Yet what's in a kiss-, that's the question still…?
Maybe, it's how we perceive it to be-,
A reflection of "our state-of-mind…! "
But; there's the kiss of harmony…
A kiss that divides…
A kiss that is honest…
And a kiss that hides….
There's a kiss of the clever…
A kiss of the mundane…
There's "a kiss like a symphony-, " with rapturous refrain…!
There's a plane where "Mercy and Truth meet intimately in bliss; "
In the plumbline-address, where "Righteousness and Peace kiss! "
Yet 'still-in-all-, ' maybe the question should be-,
Not 'what's in a kiss" but "what's in the Kisser, ' you see…

Crackberry applications that are fun and easy to use

Hello all my fellow Crackberry users!!! After I had my first encounter with my Blackberry Curve (8310) I was more than ecstatic when I upgraded my line to a Blackberry Bold (9000) and could utilize so many new applications and everything was in color (including the icons) It was rather exciting!

I don't know about anyone else but I am beyond impressed with this phone! It does EVERYTHING that a phone could possibly need to do!!

I decided to start this thread with my Crackberry users in mind knowing you can optimize the use of your phone with a little help from some download-able apps! Now one more thing before I go further, The apps I have listed here are FREE unless I otherwise say so... I have only purchased one application (Berrybuzz) however I don not advise you buy an application unless you feel you can really use it!

So without further delay:

· Blackberry App World-You can download this application by visiting www.mobile.blackberry.com fro your BB browser. Once you get to the site, scroll down 3-4 lines and you should see a link that offers you the chance to download it. This Application is FREE so you don't have to worry about spending anything extra! Also, Many of the applications I have listed below can be found through this, so its probably a great idea to go ahead and download it.

· Pandora- I have to give credit for this where it is due to Lashi. We had a conversation about this application but I was a little scared that it may not run as well as it does on my PC. After the conversation ended, I decided to go for it! I'm so glad I did because it runs great!! Pandora is a personalized station for you based off of the artist(s) that you recommend! For example I started with Chrisette Michelle and it grew to Maxwell, Corinne Bailey Rae, Anthony Hamilton, P!nk, Kelly Clarkson, Evanescence, Tony, Toni, Tone, and others... Give it a try and yes its FREE

· Facebook/Myspace- Alright these are probably the most popular social sites to date... Maybe I'm wrong but that's neither here nor there... Basically again these are FREE that you can download from the Blackberry app world site.

· ESPN- I'm not leaving out this FREE application either. You can get ESPN on your mobile and set up alerts through this for any upcoming games or have it alert you at the end of each game! I had to go directly to the ESPN site to be able to download this from your Blackberry browser.

· Blackberry Maps- This is an EXCELLENT alternative to the trial version of GPS maps that come with the blackberry and its.. that's right.. FREE!!! I got this through the Blackberry app world, played with it a bit and its pretty good (thumbs up)

· Vlingo- Another FREE application available for download through your app world. This will allow you to talk out your emails/text messages!! The more you use it the more it will get used to you and your way of talking! I had this application but had to let it go when I upgraded software :(

· Drive Safely- On the other side of that, you have this application that will read your messages out loud so you aren't fiddling with your phone while you're driving! Yes its FREE and through app world.

· Visual Voicemail- If you're like me and upgraded your software then this should have come installed on your phone after reboot. If not you can download this FREE app from app world and be able to hear your voicemails each time someone leaves one via your media player! With AT&T customers you will have to go to the AT&T site and select that you want this activated otherwise it won't work properly. AND no, this doesn't cost ANYTHING as long as you are a Blackberry customer =D

· Yellowpages.com Mobile- This is an application that was installed on the phone with the upgrade but I'm sure you can also download it for FREE at the yellow pages site when accessed through your BB browser. This application can also give directions, a function as a phone book for whatever you may need!

· Documents To Go- For the student or business oriented individual! This allows you to create, store and read Windows created documents! I warn you this comes as a trial and will prompt you to buy it once it runs out... NOT COMPLETELY FREE

· Berrybuzz- Okay so, as I stated before this app is NOT FREE however, it does offer a trial to see if you like it in case you do decide to buy it! I love this application simply because I can play with the light settings on the phone (yes that means you have more colors than blue, red, green, and yellow) your phone will actually vibrate while ringing and allow you to set different colors and tones for different messages and contacts!! If you'd like to see what you can do with this application, try it FIRST if you don't like it, delete it from your applications via advanced settings and that's all!

Also for any other techi-heads out there that would like to experiment with making your own themes for your BB, visit http://na.blackberry.com/eng/developers/themes/devtools.jsp. This is a link for Theme Studio v5.0 which is directly downloaded to your PC then allows you to alter the way you would like your main screen to look on your phone! As far as I know this is for all BB types and kinda fun to use! ;)

Whew!!! That's a lot!! Lol!! I know there's probably more and if so, feel free to add them!! These are just a few personal favorites!

OHHH!!! And please.. Please! PLEASE!! Don't pay for your ringtones!!! No matter what phone you have go to www.myxertones.com, and download some free ones!! You can upload your own music and alter the tone to fit the way YOU want to hear it!! Just don't pay $2,3,4 for something you can get for free... It's still a recession!

I hope everyone was able to get learned from this little thread! I had fun writing it! Hmm... Another thing, some of these applications can be used on other phones, Unless you have a web plan through your service provider DON'T attempt to download these.. I repeat DON'T attempt to download these unless you like having a massive phone bill... Also I don't recommend anyone with limited access to try this either... And again!! You WILL NEED a memory card!! They are NOT expensive!! I've seen 4GB in Wally World for $10 bucks!!! I'm all about a good deal!! One more thing.. If you do not have Blackberry service, you won't be able to access any of this. If you're attempting to run your Blackberry on a basic plan, you're going to get basic service i.e. Phone calls and text messages. THAT'S IT! You must have Blackberry service to get the web and multimedia messages. Depending on your provider it could run anywhere from $30-$40 bucks. I have mine for $30 through AT&T.

Well, Enjoy!! If you decide to try any please post a comment, any questions, need help with anything... even if it's not an application, leave a comment!! I can help and if not, I can point you in the right direction of someone who can! ♥ ya!! Be blessed =)