Marriage.
This one word has SO MANY different interpretations...
But may I point out the one definition in there that clearly says :'a happy marriage'. This is almost laughable to me. In today's society, there's no such thing as 'a happy marriage'. With divorce rates rising every year (right now its at 4.95/1000...) and surprise weddings popping up all over the place, I can almost see how so many marriages become statistics.
When I was younger and I dreamed of one day having my 'knight in shining armor' along with my big country house, 2 kids, dog and large family vehicle... Pfft wow, that is unheard of now. I always imagined I'd go to school to be a doctor, marry by the time I was 25 and have my family by the time I was 26. Realistically... I'm in school for Criminal Justice, 25 yrs old now and no plans to have any kids until my degree is in my hands.
Today it seems like so many people are rushing to get married because its 'the right thing to do' completely forgetting or overlooking the MAJOR flaws within their relationships. Sure he may drink some but that's only when he's had a hard day at work... You didn't say that after he back handed you and flipped your ass over a couch. Or she all of a sudden doesn't want to be married because its not what she imagined it would be... What!??! Or why marry her if you know she's a hoe? C'mon man... Who said it was gumdrops, lollipops and rainbows? Sure I've never been married and honestly the thought of marriage scares me to death. The last thing I want to be is a statistic. I pride myself on setting myself aside from those that like to conform to the norm.
What I don't get is, why are you going to marry someone just because? Marriage is not a trend, its a REAL commitment... A REAL LIFE commitment. I'm so beyond sick of hearing about 2 month marriages (notorious with celebs) or divorce after one year.. why? What could have possibly happened between now and then to make you want to change your mind? Oh! I know.. how about you actually take the time to get to know someone COMPLETELY before you up and decide to get hitched. There is NO reason you should marry someone if you don't know every in, out, up, down, right, left. You should know how they look when they go to sleep, when they wake up, their pet peeves, their nasty little habits... EVERYTHING! My dad once told me, before you commit to marriage with someone, you should spend at LEAST a year with that person getting to know them, then take a step back and re-evaluate. Shhhititttt... maybe if I would have listened the first time, I wouldn't have wasted 3.5 years of my life with the wrong man..
Any who, I'm not going to say I'm a saint or that my relationship is perfect because by no means is it but it is everything I could imagine it to be. We have an understanding between us, basically if ANYTHING is wrong we discuss it then, not later. We avoid arguments by having everything out in the open, as a matter of fact we have yet to have our first argument and its been about a year and a half. Not only that but I love and respect this man. We click on so many levels, its crazy but we make it work no matter what the problem. Have we discussed marriage? Yes, on more than one occasion. We've even discussed kids! But that's all it is for now, discussion. Why? Because we are still learning each other.
I know of someone I used to talk to but due to a lot of shady circumstances, she's fallen from my circle of trust/caring. Any way, she divorced her husband after one year of marriage, why? To hide her insecurities and indiscretions. It was a brutal divorce and when it was all said and done, she became the town whore and swore to never marry again. As time went on, she saw everyone falling into solid relationships and began to yearn for one of her own. Long story short... she met a man and after 'knowing' him for only 3 months, moved him in. The next month, pictures of engagement rings started popping up all over myspace... 3 months later, a ring. WTF? A 7 month relationship with someone who barely knows what she wants? Wow...
Why not take the time to get to know someone before making a mockery of the most sacred of unions? It doesn't hurt to commit yourself to one person, find out what makes them tick.. In the process learn who you are, learn to find what you want to be happy.. No that doesn't mean getting married will 'complete' your life because it won't. Yes, I know almost every woman has had the thought of a big wedding with a million guests and running away to fairy tale land... yeah.. But lets say you do meet someone and set your 'relationship' on a schedule. By that I mean, you meet on Feb 1, plan on having a ring on your finger by Feb 28, first kid by Nov and so on so forth. Thats not the way it happens.
Learn to find what it is you really want and you will be happy with yourself, your surroundings and whatever you may come in contact with... Stop wasting time on bull-headed dreams of living the simple life. Its 2010, you have to work for what you want... nothing has ever been handed to anyone. It's a hard lesson to learn but everyone learns it at some point in your life.
This one word has SO MANY different interpretations...
| 1. | the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc. |
| 2. | the state, condition, or relationship of being married; wedlock: a happy marriage. |
| 3. | the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of a man and woman to live as husband and wife, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage. |
| 4. | a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of a husband and wife, without legal sanction: trial marriage; homosexual marriage. |
| 5. | any close or intimate association or union: the marriage of |
| 6. | a formal agreement between two companies or enterprises to combine operations, resources, etc., for mutual benefit; merger. |
| 7. | a blending or matching of different elements or components: The new lipstick is a beautiful marriage of fragrance and texture. |
| 8. | Cards. a meld of the king and queen of a suit, as in pinochle. |
| 9. | a piece of antique furniture assembled from components of two or more authentic pieces. |
| 10. | Obsolete. the formal declaration or contract by which act a man and a woman join in wedlock. |
But may I point out the one definition in there that clearly says :'a happy marriage'. This is almost laughable to me. In today's society, there's no such thing as 'a happy marriage'. With divorce rates rising every year (right now its at 4.95/1000...) and surprise weddings popping up all over the place, I can almost see how so many marriages become statistics.
When I was younger and I dreamed of one day having my 'knight in shining armor' along with my big country house, 2 kids, dog and large family vehicle... Pfft wow, that is unheard of now. I always imagined I'd go to school to be a doctor, marry by the time I was 25 and have my family by the time I was 26. Realistically... I'm in school for Criminal Justice, 25 yrs old now and no plans to have any kids until my degree is in my hands.
Today it seems like so many people are rushing to get married because its 'the right thing to do' completely forgetting or overlooking the MAJOR flaws within their relationships. Sure he may drink some but that's only when he's had a hard day at work... You didn't say that after he back handed you and flipped your ass over a couch. Or she all of a sudden doesn't want to be married because its not what she imagined it would be... What!??! Or why marry her if you know she's a hoe? C'mon man... Who said it was gumdrops, lollipops and rainbows? Sure I've never been married and honestly the thought of marriage scares me to death. The last thing I want to be is a statistic. I pride myself on setting myself aside from those that like to conform to the norm.
What I don't get is, why are you going to marry someone just because? Marriage is not a trend, its a REAL commitment... A REAL LIFE commitment. I'm so beyond sick of hearing about 2 month marriages (notorious with celebs) or divorce after one year.. why? What could have possibly happened between now and then to make you want to change your mind? Oh! I know.. how about you actually take the time to get to know someone COMPLETELY before you up and decide to get hitched. There is NO reason you should marry someone if you don't know every in, out, up, down, right, left. You should know how they look when they go to sleep, when they wake up, their pet peeves, their nasty little habits... EVERYTHING! My dad once told me, before you commit to marriage with someone, you should spend at LEAST a year with that person getting to know them, then take a step back and re-evaluate. Shhhititttt... maybe if I would have listened the first time, I wouldn't have wasted 3.5 years of my life with the wrong man..
Any who, I'm not going to say I'm a saint or that my relationship is perfect because by no means is it but it is everything I could imagine it to be. We have an understanding between us, basically if ANYTHING is wrong we discuss it then, not later. We avoid arguments by having everything out in the open, as a matter of fact we have yet to have our first argument and its been about a year and a half. Not only that but I love and respect this man. We click on so many levels, its crazy but we make it work no matter what the problem. Have we discussed marriage? Yes, on more than one occasion. We've even discussed kids! But that's all it is for now, discussion. Why? Because we are still learning each other.
I know of someone I used to talk to but due to a lot of shady circumstances, she's fallen from my circle of trust/caring. Any way, she divorced her husband after one year of marriage, why? To hide her insecurities and indiscretions. It was a brutal divorce and when it was all said and done, she became the town whore and swore to never marry again. As time went on, she saw everyone falling into solid relationships and began to yearn for one of her own. Long story short... she met a man and after 'knowing' him for only 3 months, moved him in. The next month, pictures of engagement rings started popping up all over myspace... 3 months later, a ring. WTF? A 7 month relationship with someone who barely knows what she wants? Wow...
Why not take the time to get to know someone before making a mockery of the most sacred of unions? It doesn't hurt to commit yourself to one person, find out what makes them tick.. In the process learn who you are, learn to find what you want to be happy.. No that doesn't mean getting married will 'complete' your life because it won't. Yes, I know almost every woman has had the thought of a big wedding with a million guests and running away to fairy tale land... yeah.. But lets say you do meet someone and set your 'relationship' on a schedule. By that I mean, you meet on Feb 1, plan on having a ring on your finger by Feb 28, first kid by Nov and so on so forth. Thats not the way it happens.
Learn to find what it is you really want and you will be happy with yourself, your surroundings and whatever you may come in contact with... Stop wasting time on bull-headed dreams of living the simple life. Its 2010, you have to work for what you want... nothing has ever been handed to anyone. It's a hard lesson to learn but everyone learns it at some point in your life.
Ironical that this comes on February 14...
ReplyDeleteI agree with this message 5000% percent, especially the part about how great your boyfriend is :)