Hello again!I swear I'm going to try to stay up with this 'blogging thing' more often... *cries* it's hard when you don't have anything to do.. kidding. I just need to 'open up' a bit more.
Anywho... Onto the topic of the blog! During church this past Sunday, I agreed to attend a different type of church so that I could be witness to Phlip's nephews' baptism. *Sigh* Where do I start... Oh I know... How about getting greeted by someone I'm almost sure was a dude dressed in drag. Okay, so we are then ushered into the front of this tiny old church to sit in the 3rd row... I have yet to understand this considering the baptism took place in the BASEMENT... AFTER the sermon.
Okay now that is out of my system... let's start with the beginning of the service. Kid's choir (I know what you're thinking *awh how cute!* and no it wasn't) fills in the front choir seats and proceed to sing from a hymnal book. The song goes on for 10 minutes at the very least with speeding up and slowing down occurring from the 'band'.
Eventually they stop and begin reading announcements. I thank God we weren't standing during this because it alone had to be 20 minutes. There were things in the announcements that REALLY didn't need to be there. About this time there have been 2 or 3 girls from the kids choir up on the podium and each time you'd see Chester sitting there staring and licking his lips BUT has the nerve to get up and announce the church get together for couples that he and his wife will be putting together on Valentines day ... 4 WEEKS FROM NOW!!!
Next!!! We have the preacher making stupid jokes about people finally showing up... this is normally known as 'calling one out' and although they laughed, I'm sure they didn't appreciate it. At this point I'm texting Phlip to ask why the sermon hasn't started as ANOTHER song from the choir is being started.
Long story short... a GOOD SOLID 45 minutes go by before the sermon even begins. Now nevermind the fact the preacher mentioned the scriptures to focus on about 20 minutes ago, this dude is going to proceed to use half, if not ALL of the lyrics from a Whitney Houston song. I found out later that he also used lyrics from a rap song. EVERYTHING dude said had NOTHING to do with the bible. I learned NOTHING in that sermon and am I wrong for assuming I was supposed to feel enlightened? What the french toast dude?
So, the BEST part of it all FINALLY comes up after many failed attempts to pay attention and not fall asleep. You know its the end when you hear the typical... *And then you know-ah... that you-ah... are in the-ah... right place-ah... when you-ah... feel-ah.. that-ah you have done something right-ah*... -.-
ANYWAY!!! So as he appeals to the crowd that isn't really even responding... you hear the church 'loud mouth' with his 'WELL' 'AMEN' 'PREACH'... DO YOU MIND!!??! STFU OR USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE!!!! NOT EVERYONE NEEDS TO HEAR YOU CHESTER!
So... anyway, I happen to observe as the sermon comes to a close... Is that a.. no way.. Omg.. SHE HAS A MULLET!!! AND SHES BLACK!!!
That's correct... this is NOT cute.. it's a MULLET!!! No 2 ways around it.THIS IS VERY WRONG!!!
Now.. onto the actual baptism AFTER... that's right AFTER church has ended. We are ushered into an unkempt basement with a hole in the floor filled with water... Did I miss the memo about this being a normal thing? Last time I checked, no one has a pre-constructed pool for baptisms in their CHURCH basement!!
So suffice to say... Phlip and I left HIGHLY aggravated and WAY too ready to go. I am proud of his nephew for the decision he has made however... I will NEVER be setting foot in there again.
Long story short... a GOOD SOLID 45 minutes go by before the sermon even begins. Now nevermind the fact the preacher mentioned the scriptures to focus on about 20 minutes ago, this dude is going to proceed to use half, if not ALL of the lyrics from a Whitney Houston song. I found out later that he also used lyrics from a rap song. EVERYTHING dude said had NOTHING to do with the bible. I learned NOTHING in that sermon and am I wrong for assuming I was supposed to feel enlightened? What the french toast dude?
So, the BEST part of it all FINALLY comes up after many failed attempts to pay attention and not fall asleep. You know its the end when you hear the typical... *And then you know-ah... that you-ah... are in the-ah... right place-ah... when you-ah... feel-ah.. that-ah you have done something right-ah*... -.-
ANYWAY!!! So as he appeals to the crowd that isn't really even responding... you hear the church 'loud mouth' with his 'WELL' 'AMEN' 'PREACH'... DO YOU MIND!!??! STFU OR USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE!!!! NOT EVERYONE NEEDS TO HEAR YOU CHESTER!
So... anyway, I happen to observe as the sermon comes to a close... Is that a.. no way.. Omg.. SHE HAS A MULLET!!! AND SHES BLACK!!!
That's correct... this is NOT cute.. it's a MULLET!!! No 2 ways around it.THIS IS VERY WRONG!!!
Now.. onto the actual baptism AFTER... that's right AFTER church has ended. We are ushered into an unkempt basement with a hole in the floor filled with water... Did I miss the memo about this being a normal thing? Last time I checked, no one has a pre-constructed pool for baptisms in their CHURCH basement!!
So suffice to say... Phlip and I left HIGHLY aggravated and WAY too ready to go. I am proud of his nephew for the decision he has made however... I will NEVER be setting foot in there again.
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