Please Help Me Understand...

Marriage.
This one word has SO MANY different interpretations...

1.	the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.

2.	the state, condition, or relationship of being married; wedlock: a happy marriage.

3.	the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of a man and woman to live as husband and wife, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage.

4.	a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of a husband and wife, without legal sanction: trial marriage; homosexual marriage.

5.	any close or intimate association or union: the marriage of words and music in a hit song.

6.	a formal agreement between two companies or enterprises to combine operations, resources, etc., for mutual benefit; merger.

7.	a blending or matching of different elements or components: The new lipstick is a beautiful marriage of fragrance and texture.

8.	Cards. a meld of the king and queen of a suit, as in pinochle.

9.	a piece of antique furniture assembled from components of two or more authentic pieces.

10.	Obsolete. the formal declaration or contract by which act a man and a woman join in wedlock.

But may I point out the one definition in there that clearly says :'a happy marriage'. This is almost laughable to me. In today's society, there's no such thing as 'a happy marriage'. With divorce rates rising every year (right now its at 4.95/1000...) and surprise weddings popping up all over the place, I can almost see how so many marriages become statistics.
When I was younger and I dreamed of one day having my 'knight in shining armor' along with my big country house, 2 kids, dog and large family vehicle... Pfft wow, that is unheard of now. I always imagined I'd go to school to be a doctor, marry by the time I was 25 and have my family by the time I was 26. Realistically... I'm in school for Criminal Justice, 25 yrs old now and no plans to have any kids until my degree is in my hands.
Today it seems like so many people are rushing to get married because its 'the right thing to do' completely forgetting or overlooking the MAJOR flaws within their relationships. Sure he may drink some but that's only when he's had a hard day at work... You didn't say that after he back handed you and flipped your ass over a couch. Or she all of a sudden doesn't want to be married because its not what she imagined it would be... What!??! Or why marry her if you know she's a hoe? C'mon man... Who said it was gumdrops, lollipops and rainbows? Sure I've never been married and honestly the thought of marriage scares me to death. The last thing I want to be is a statistic. I pride myself on setting myself aside from those that like to conform to the norm.
What I don't get is, why are you going to marry someone just because? Marriage is not a trend, its a REAL commitment... A REAL LIFE commitment. I'm so beyond sick of hearing about 2 month marriages (notorious with celebs) or divorce after one year.. why? What could have possibly happened between now and then to make you want to change your mind? Oh! I know.. how about you actually take the time to get to know someone COMPLETELY before you up and decide to get hitched. There is NO reason you should marry someone if you don't know every in, out, up, down, right, left. You should know how they look when they go to sleep, when they wake up, their pet peeves, their nasty little habits... EVERYTHING! My dad once told me, before you commit to marriage with someone, you should spend at LEAST a year with that person getting to know them, then take a step back and re-evaluate. Shhhititttt... maybe if I would have listened the first time, I wouldn't have wasted 3.5 years of my life with the wrong man..
Any who, I'm not going to say I'm a saint or that my relationship is perfect because by no means is it but it is everything I could imagine it to be. We have an understanding between us, basically if ANYTHING is wrong we discuss it then, not later. We avoid arguments by having everything out in the open, as a matter of fact we have yet to have our first argument and its been about a year and a half. Not only that but I love and respect this man. We click on so many levels, its crazy but we make it work no matter what the problem. Have we discussed marriage? Yes, on more than one occasion. We've even discussed kids! But that's all it is for now, discussion. Why? Because we are still learning each other.
I know of someone I used to talk to but due to a lot of shady circumstances, she's fallen from my circle of trust/caring. Any way, she divorced her husband after one year of marriage, why? To hide her insecurities and indiscretions. It was a brutal divorce and when it was all said and done, she became the town whore and swore to never marry again. As time went on, she saw everyone falling into solid relationships and began to yearn for one of her own. Long story short... she met a man and after 'knowing' him for only 3 months, moved him in. The next month, pictures of engagement rings started popping up all over myspace... 3 months later, a ring. WTF? A 7 month relationship with someone who barely knows what she wants? Wow...
Why not take the time to get to know someone before making a mockery of the most sacred of unions? It doesn't hurt to commit yourself to one person, find out what makes them tick.. In the process learn who you are, learn to find what you want to be happy.. No that doesn't mean getting married will 'complete' your life because it won't. Yes, I know almost every woman has had the thought of a big wedding with a million guests and running away to fairy tale land... yeah.. But lets say you do meet someone and set your 'relationship' on a schedule. By that I mean, you meet on Feb 1, plan on having a ring on your finger by Feb 28, first kid by Nov and so on so forth. Thats not the way it happens.
Learn to find what it is you really want and you will be happy with yourself, your surroundings and whatever you may come in contact with... Stop wasting time on bull-headed dreams of living the simple life. Its 2010, you have to work for what you want... nothing has ever been handed to anyone. It's a hard lesson to learn but everyone learns it at some point in your life.

Observations...

Hello again!I swear I'm going to try to stay up with this 'blogging thing' more often... *cries* it's hard when you don't have anything to do.. kidding. I just need to 'open up' a bit more.

Anywho... Onto the topic of the blog! During church this past Sunday, I agreed to attend a different type of church so that I could be witness to Phlip's nephews' baptism. *Sigh* Where do I start... Oh I know... How about getting greeted by someone I'm almost sure was a dude dressed in drag. Okay, so we are then ushered into the front of this tiny old church to sit in the 3rd row... I have yet to understand this considering the baptism took place in the BASEMENT... AFTER the sermon.

Okay now that is out of my system... let's start with the beginning of the service. Kid's choir (I know what you're thinking *awh how cute!* and no it wasn't) fills in the front choir seats and proceed to sing from a hymnal book. The song goes on for 10 minutes at the very least with speeding up and slowing down occurring from the 'band'.

Eventually they stop and begin reading announcements. I thank God we weren't standing during this because it alone had to be 20 minutes. There were things in the announcements that REALLY didn't need to be there. About this time there have been 2 or 3 girls from the kids choir up on the podium and each time you'd see Chester sitting there staring and licking his lips BUT has the nerve to get up and announce the church get together for couples that he and his wife will be putting together on Valentines day ... 4 WEEKS FROM NOW!!!

Next!!! We have the preacher making stupid jokes about people finally showing up... this is normally known as 'calling one out' and although they laughed, I'm sure they didn't appreciate it. At this point I'm texting Phlip to ask why the sermon hasn't started as ANOTHER song from the choir is being started.
Long story short... a GOOD SOLID 45 minutes go by before the sermon even begins. Now nevermind the fact the preacher mentioned the scriptures to focus on about 20 minutes ago, this dude is going to proceed to use half, if not ALL of the lyrics from a Whitney Houston song. I found out later that he also used lyrics from a rap song. EVERYTHING dude said had NOTHING to do with the bible. I learned NOTHING in that sermon and am I wrong for assuming I was supposed to feel enlightened? What the french toast dude?
So, the BEST part of it all FINALLY comes up after many failed attempts to pay attention and not fall asleep. You know its the end when you hear the typical... *And then you know-ah... that you-ah... are in the-ah... right place-ah... when you-ah... feel-ah.. that-ah you have done something right-ah*... -.-
ANYWAY!!! So as he appeals to the crowd that isn't really even responding... you hear the church 'loud mouth' with his 'WELL' 'AMEN' 'PREACH'... DO YOU MIND!!??! STFU OR USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE!!!! NOT EVERYONE NEEDS TO HEAR YOU CHESTER!
So... anyway, I happen to observe as the sermon comes to a close... Is that a.. no way.. Omg.. SHE HAS A MULLET!!! AND SHES BLACK!!!
That's correct... this is NOT cute.. it's a MULLET!!! No 2 ways around it.THIS IS VERY WRONG!!!
Now.. onto the actual baptism AFTER... that's right AFTER church has ended. We are ushered into an unkempt basement with a hole in the floor filled with water... Did I miss the memo about this being a normal thing? Last time I checked, no one has a pre-constructed pool for baptisms in their CHURCH basement!!
So suffice to say... Phlip and I left HIGHLY aggravated and WAY too ready to go. I am proud of his nephew for the decision he has made however... I will NEVER be setting foot in there again.

Random Thoughts...

So. It's 2010. Really? Already 7 days into the new year and I still feel like a sitting duck. Hopefully things will begin to change soon... Sitting here doing nothing but watching the dog, cleaning, doing homework or playing games... Is going to drive me insane.
I have been thinking A LOT about getting another tattoo(s) and found a couple new designs I really like... I'll feature those later. I finally broke down and expressed how much I missed my nose ring :( I had it for so long, it was part of my persona.... Without it I feel so.... bleh. Maybe one day when I get a real job I can finally get it back.
Anywho... Back to my rantings about my (hopefully soon) new ink...

Pretty nice eh?... Or how about..

I had to doctor the last one up a bit... Nothing MS paint couldn't do for me :)
So, there is a new puppy in the household. His name is Bruiser. He's a Jack Russell/Chihuahua mix and adorable. See for yourself...

Told ya.
My little chihuahua Taj is having a hard time adjusting but she'll come around once she realizes he is one of her own...
This is my little Taj ^_^


Okay, so I realize this is a good way for me to get my thoughts out in the open even if no one reads it...
It sometimes takes a tough situation for you to realize 3 things...
1. Appreciate who you have with you
2. Appreciate your surroundings
3. Recognize who you really want to be by your side if something goes down
I guess you could say that although I'm adopted, I'm my fathers' daughter. I mean this because both my Step & Dad have a lot of pride. They won't ask for help unless they REALLY need it. I recognized this at an early age and stopped depending on what others can do for me. Basically, I hate asking for anything. This doesn't mean I'll just take it, it means I will find my own way out of it no matter how long it may take. I'm very much used to that. However at the same time I have also found myself in the position of being 'the giver' and give WAY to much without any kind of return. Not that I expect it.. Sometimes you just have to do things out of the goodness of your heart and know that somehow you helped someone.
That has always been something I have thrived off of... helping those that genuinely need the help. But, unfortunately, I have seen what happens when this backfires. It's not hard to figure out really... people end up getting used to the giving and get spoiled. When they can't get what they want, they complain... maybe even throw a fit... and eventually get over it.
I've never really understood why anyone would burn their bridges knowing good and well that they may need them later on down the road. Oh well.
Another thing I don't get... Porn. I'm not going to honestly say I've never seen it (flicks, pics & stories) but what does it really do? I don't mind anyone being a collector or even indulging in it but sometimes my mind wanders into the area where I feel like complete garbage because my body doesn't look like that or my butt, breasts and thighs look nothing like Buffy the Body or Coco. I think that may be the only thing I really hate about it... Other than the cheesy movie plots and EXTREMELY fake emotion put into it.
But whatever... I don't mind walking with my head held high and an extra 'pep' in my step. I try not to let things get to me and sometimes it works... I guess when it comes to the things that really matter (such as the way I look or who I am) I tend to get flustered. I really don't have a reason to given all of the things I've been through and the accomplishments that I've made but sometimes I guess its just not good enough.
I do love where I am right now, I mean minus being unemployed... I love my life. Those who are around me I cherish dearly. This has already been made known to those that need to know.

My mind has gone completely blank... So I suppose I'll go ahead and draw to a close here.

Christmas...

... is finally over and I couldn't be happier this year. Anyone that knows me knows I'm pretty festive about the holidays what with cards & candy but this year was a bitch to handle. So here's how it went down... I lost my job back in October but through no fault of my own. I've steadily been receiving unemployment since then, should tell you a lot. So, since then I enjoyed a great 7 day vacation on a cruise with my wonderful boyfriend and been looking for a job.

You see, I was with my company for 4 years... FOUR YEARS!!! And out of the blue, I'm not good enough for the company. But whatever, that's history now. They did me a favor. I know there's a better opportunity out there for me especially with my degree waiting on me :)

So anyway, since Christmas 2004 I haven't felt the same about the holidays... Losing my Grammy in March 2005 didn't make that any better. I had promised her that I would take her to Chapel Hill so she could see the Nativity Event they hold in the solarium but her cancer had progressed so severely, that was impossible to do. So, she knew it would be her last Christmas so she tried her best to live out the rest of her life on a positive note. But it was always her 'thing' to deck out the house with lights and play Christmas music... she always had presents for everyone no matter how little she had... She really was the best.

I never did get the chance to make good on that promise to her...

Meh.. call me sappy but damnit this has been bothering me for YEARS! Which always tends to put a damper on my plans... I don't know how to change it and I'll be damned if I go 'talk' to someone about it. Like they would be able to level. But I guess I'll figure it out later.

Anywho, didn't get the chance to see my Dad this year... He was out of town.. the rest of my family is up north and there's no way you could pay me to spend a holiday out there. It was rather sad... I mean sure! I had my hunny's family & friends to hang with but there's something about having your own family in touch with you around that time of the year... and then they wonder why I get mad.

To top things off, my 'best friend' decided she is going to be mad at me because I 'declined' an invite to go to a get together... First and foremost, I am NOT the type of person to decline an invite to be with my friends unless something was seriously wrong. Mind you, I had explained ALL of this LONG before the invite was extended... conveniently forgot I guess. But I find it a bitch that someone could turn their back on you over something like that when I've done EVERYTHING to help make things easier for them. I've never asked for anything in return. EVER. Nice to know when you're there for your friends, they aren't there for you.

So... this has basically turned into a sappy bitching session but you know what!?!? I feel hella better. Of course it's not a cure all but it helped. So on the up side... I'm still steady looking for a new position and actually had a all back last week. I hope this works out. The most positive thing I can look forward to is my boyfriend's smiling face everyday. He has been there for me for at least a year an a few months now... He's like the epitome of happiness and always on my level. Okay, I'll go ahead and cut it short here.. until next time!!

2009 AMA's

So apparently the AMA's came with a lot of surprises and A LOT of shitty performances.. Have no clue what I'm talking about?!?! Let me enlighten you!!!

Almost as great as Lady Gaga committing suicide for all the kids to see...
Oh well... NEXT...
The winners for AMA 2009 awards are:

• Michael Jackson: Favorite Male Pop/Rock

• Michael Jackson: Favorite Pop/Rock Album

• Taylor Swift: Favorite Soul/R&B

• Taylor Swift: Best Artist

• Taylor Swift: Favorite Female Adult Contemporary

• Taylor Swift: Favorite Female Pop/Rock

• Taylor Swift: Best Country Female Artist

• Keith Urban: Best Country Male Artist

• Gloriana: T-Mobile Breakthrough Artist

• Black Eyed Peas: Favorite Pop/Rock Band

Coupled with her 5 awards, Taylor Swift walked away with one of the best performances of the night. I've also heard that Janet Jackson's performance was pretty good as well... I have yet to visit youtube to prove this ;)

Respect

Respect

I respect, the values, taught by my parents.
I respect, another mans religion, or color or creed.
I respect, and follow, the will of my maker.
I respect, the truth, no matter how unpopular.

I respect, a good work ethic.
I respect, the values on which this country was founded.
I respect, those who would champion the under privileged.
I respect, those of differences, who seek common ground.

I respect, the concept of monogamy.
I respect, those faithful to principal.
I respect, change, that is for the better.
I respect, an honest days work.

I respect, the great talents of the entertainment world.
I respect, thought provoking works, of the written word.
I respect, the unquenchable thirst of creativity.
I respect, the farmers and workers that toil in the field.

I respect, the good in man.
I respect, the virtue in woman.
I respect, the innocence of children.
I respect, the generosity of mankind.

Most of all...I respect the maker of
life and the love, that each of us
have within us.

I Believe

I Believe

I believe that the sun shines after the rain
I believe if you don't get hurt you'll never gain
I believe in not doing things the easy way
I believe that being selfish doesn't pay

I believe in a second chance
I believe in a life long romance
I believe there is life after death
And standing up to a life of mess

I believe in love at first sight
I believe that revenge isn't right
I believe that first impressions last
And there is nothing better then a good laugh

I believe that dreams do come true
I believe there's destiny for me and you
I believe that good things come to those who wait
I believe love never arrives too late

I believe something good comes from something bad
I believe that for tears of happiness there are tears of sad
I believe everyone has a guardian angel
And the good you do will be rewarded well

I believe sometimes there is no explanation
I believe money can't buy people's affection
I believe you don't know what you've got until it's gone
I believe a new day arrives with every dawn

I believe a smile can be contagious
I believe in being very outrageous
I believe in living with no regrets
I believe that life is as good as it gets

I believe that God watches over us
I believe the little things are worth the fuss
I believe you have each friend for a reason
I believe you will get punished for treason

I believe that what comes first is family
I believe we should all live in harmony
I believe in making the most of a beautiful day
And it's not the end until everything's okay

I believe absence makes the heart grow fonder
I believe you will lose if you sit and wonder
I believe every experience teaches you a lesson
And nothing cures better then a drinking session

I believe everyone has one true love
I believe sometimes we need a little shove
I believe the whole world is a stage
I believe we only get better with age

I believe that to learn you have to live
I believe that to love someone you have to give
I believe one moment can change your life
And there's still help when you're in strife

I believe everyone has one true friend
I believe love helps a broken heart mend
I believe in the power of a song
And things will change before too long

I believe living is the best experience
I believe in not laughing at other people's expense
I believe it's hard to watch a lover leave
And when they're gone all you can do is breath

I believe to always look on the bright side
I believe that life is just one big ride
I believe when I die people will grieve
But it's ok because I believe

The Kiss

The Kiss :*

What's in a kiss; how many there-be...?
'So many, it boggles the mind's reality…'
A kiss can be a greeting- "of body and soul-! '
It's an unspoken language, telling more than "what's told."
It is sometimes "a spark-, " to light one's flame…
Or often "self-flattery" to play one's game.

There's the 'kiss of friendship-, '
The 'kiss of guile…, '
The 'kiss of SINCERITY, '
The 'kiss of style…, '
There's the 'kiss of Life" and the 'kiss of Death! '
There's the 'kiss that steals one's breath away…"
And one "that prays it will last all day! "
There's the 'kiss that frees the soul…'
Also one that 'detours from one's goal…! '
There's the kiss of a parent, the "kiss of a child…, "
The "kiss of curiosity- running wild…! "
The kiss of respect; and a kiss of shame…,
A kiss of honor- and "a kiss to tame…! "
There's a kiss of the reserved-, "perceived amorous- (the same): "
A kiss of 'the insecure-, ' to win their ball game!
There's a 'kiss of the stagnant; ' the 'kiss of the free…! "
Also a 'kiss of those secure-, " as the best there can be…

Yet what's in a kiss-, that's the question still…?
Maybe, it's how we perceive it to be-,
A reflection of "our state-of-mind…! "
But; there's the kiss of harmony…
A kiss that divides…
A kiss that is honest…
And a kiss that hides….
There's a kiss of the clever…
A kiss of the mundane…
There's "a kiss like a symphony-, " with rapturous refrain…!
There's a plane where "Mercy and Truth meet intimately in bliss; "
In the plumbline-address, where "Righteousness and Peace kiss! "
Yet 'still-in-all-, ' maybe the question should be-,
Not 'what's in a kiss" but "what's in the Kisser, ' you see…

Crackberry applications that are fun and easy to use

Hello all my fellow Crackberry users!!! After I had my first encounter with my Blackberry Curve (8310) I was more than ecstatic when I upgraded my line to a Blackberry Bold (9000) and could utilize so many new applications and everything was in color (including the icons) It was rather exciting!

I don't know about anyone else but I am beyond impressed with this phone! It does EVERYTHING that a phone could possibly need to do!!

I decided to start this thread with my Crackberry users in mind knowing you can optimize the use of your phone with a little help from some download-able apps! Now one more thing before I go further, The apps I have listed here are FREE unless I otherwise say so... I have only purchased one application (Berrybuzz) however I don not advise you buy an application unless you feel you can really use it!

So without further delay:

· Blackberry App World-You can download this application by visiting www.mobile.blackberry.com fro your BB browser. Once you get to the site, scroll down 3-4 lines and you should see a link that offers you the chance to download it. This Application is FREE so you don't have to worry about spending anything extra! Also, Many of the applications I have listed below can be found through this, so its probably a great idea to go ahead and download it.

· Pandora- I have to give credit for this where it is due to Lashi. We had a conversation about this application but I was a little scared that it may not run as well as it does on my PC. After the conversation ended, I decided to go for it! I'm so glad I did because it runs great!! Pandora is a personalized station for you based off of the artist(s) that you recommend! For example I started with Chrisette Michelle and it grew to Maxwell, Corinne Bailey Rae, Anthony Hamilton, P!nk, Kelly Clarkson, Evanescence, Tony, Toni, Tone, and others... Give it a try and yes its FREE

· Facebook/Myspace- Alright these are probably the most popular social sites to date... Maybe I'm wrong but that's neither here nor there... Basically again these are FREE that you can download from the Blackberry app world site.

· ESPN- I'm not leaving out this FREE application either. You can get ESPN on your mobile and set up alerts through this for any upcoming games or have it alert you at the end of each game! I had to go directly to the ESPN site to be able to download this from your Blackberry browser.

· Blackberry Maps- This is an EXCELLENT alternative to the trial version of GPS maps that come with the blackberry and its.. that's right.. FREE!!! I got this through the Blackberry app world, played with it a bit and its pretty good (thumbs up)

· Vlingo- Another FREE application available for download through your app world. This will allow you to talk out your emails/text messages!! The more you use it the more it will get used to you and your way of talking! I had this application but had to let it go when I upgraded software :(

· Drive Safely- On the other side of that, you have this application that will read your messages out loud so you aren't fiddling with your phone while you're driving! Yes its FREE and through app world.

· Visual Voicemail- If you're like me and upgraded your software then this should have come installed on your phone after reboot. If not you can download this FREE app from app world and be able to hear your voicemails each time someone leaves one via your media player! With AT&T customers you will have to go to the AT&T site and select that you want this activated otherwise it won't work properly. AND no, this doesn't cost ANYTHING as long as you are a Blackberry customer =D

· Yellowpages.com Mobile- This is an application that was installed on the phone with the upgrade but I'm sure you can also download it for FREE at the yellow pages site when accessed through your BB browser. This application can also give directions, a function as a phone book for whatever you may need!

· Documents To Go- For the student or business oriented individual! This allows you to create, store and read Windows created documents! I warn you this comes as a trial and will prompt you to buy it once it runs out... NOT COMPLETELY FREE

· Berrybuzz- Okay so, as I stated before this app is NOT FREE however, it does offer a trial to see if you like it in case you do decide to buy it! I love this application simply because I can play with the light settings on the phone (yes that means you have more colors than blue, red, green, and yellow) your phone will actually vibrate while ringing and allow you to set different colors and tones for different messages and contacts!! If you'd like to see what you can do with this application, try it FIRST if you don't like it, delete it from your applications via advanced settings and that's all!

Also for any other techi-heads out there that would like to experiment with making your own themes for your BB, visit http://na.blackberry.com/eng/developers/themes/devtools.jsp. This is a link for Theme Studio v5.0 which is directly downloaded to your PC then allows you to alter the way you would like your main screen to look on your phone! As far as I know this is for all BB types and kinda fun to use! ;)

Whew!!! That's a lot!! Lol!! I know there's probably more and if so, feel free to add them!! These are just a few personal favorites!

OHHH!!! And please.. Please! PLEASE!! Don't pay for your ringtones!!! No matter what phone you have go to www.myxertones.com, and download some free ones!! You can upload your own music and alter the tone to fit the way YOU want to hear it!! Just don't pay $2,3,4 for something you can get for free... It's still a recession!

I hope everyone was able to get learned from this little thread! I had fun writing it! Hmm... Another thing, some of these applications can be used on other phones, Unless you have a web plan through your service provider DON'T attempt to download these.. I repeat DON'T attempt to download these unless you like having a massive phone bill... Also I don't recommend anyone with limited access to try this either... And again!! You WILL NEED a memory card!! They are NOT expensive!! I've seen 4GB in Wally World for $10 bucks!!! I'm all about a good deal!! One more thing.. If you do not have Blackberry service, you won't be able to access any of this. If you're attempting to run your Blackberry on a basic plan, you're going to get basic service i.e. Phone calls and text messages. THAT'S IT! You must have Blackberry service to get the web and multimedia messages. Depending on your provider it could run anywhere from $30-$40 bucks. I have mine for $30 through AT&T.

Well, Enjoy!! If you decide to try any please post a comment, any questions, need help with anything... even if it's not an application, leave a comment!! I can help and if not, I can point you in the right direction of someone who can! ♥ ya!! Be blessed =)

Why is it!??! Original Post May 5, 2008

Wow... I haven't written anything since Feb!!! Oh mee gosh!! Thats crucial.. Really it is. Oh my, the things I have to speak on are TREMENDOUS!

So, I appreciate the views, comments, kudos, etc. etc. They are much appreciated!! 855 views is pretty good if I do say so myself

For starters, I want to send congrats to my youngest sister who is to be wed May 21st 2008. We may have our differences, but in the end, we're still family. I wish you the best of luck and nothing but a lifetime of happiness.

Now for the nitty gritty... After many long conversations and deliberations these past few days, weeks, months; I've got a few questions that still leave me feeling a little confused. Again, any and all input is appreciated!

Ok ladies and gents... lets do this!

We're gonna start with the biggie first. Why is it guys always seem to underestimate what a female can accomplish? Fellas I'm telling you now, there isn't a thing a female can't or won't figure out. It may happen immediately or take some time but eventually, if you're up to no good... eventually she will find out. I can almost guarantee it. However on the flip side of things, why is it some females don't seem to learn their lesson? Why do women put themselves in a position where they can be hurt several times, by the same person but forgive everytime and still STAY in the same relationship? Yeah I can understand the 'second chance' rule but what about the third...fifth...seventh... If things are still the same after the 1st incident, you need to re-evaluate the situation. There isnt such a thing as a 'second, second chance' or a 'second, third chance'.. c'mon get with it!

Why is it some people are never satisfied? You're hot then you're cold. You're yes then you're no. You're wrong then you're right, its black then its white.. I know all about being indecisive but I am always completely satisfied with my outcome, good or bad.

Why is it people get married when they either A. Cant stop cheating or B. Know they'll be just another divorce statistic in about a month? Is this the new 'trend' for 2008 and beyond?

Why is it gas prices are so high? Yeah yeah I understand the politics of it all but why hasn't someone done something yet to help keep them from peaking at 4.00/gallon? Sure I could ride a bike or a scooter to work everyday to help conserve gas and contribute to the fight against global warming but... yeah I dont see that happening.

Ugh, I'm so sleepy I've lost my train of thought so once I get some much needed rest I shall return with more unanswered questions.

Friends!!

Wow.. well its been a while for me doing this. Hmm well, I need to start somewhere cuz my mind is racing and I need to clear it out so I can rest.

So, basically I'm dedicating this to all my lovely, friggin awesome friends out there.. You'll know who you are b/c you'll get that lovely tingly, warm sensation which means this really was meant for you or you really gotta go bathroom.

Anyway, its been a loonnggg road for me.. A few of you may or may not know what has and what hasn't happened this past year but I'm not getting into that cuz the past is indeed the past.. can't change it so we'll leave it alone and look to the future. I'm a completely different person today than I used to be. Alot of this change caused me to see things I didn't want to see and conquer things I knew were problems but didn't want to face. I not only got past my obsticles, I managed to find me.. A better, much happier me. I have you all to thank for that.

If I could I would propose a toast, it would probably go a lil something like this.. To anyone that stuck by me when I had no one left but friends..this is for you. To anyone I have ever had the pleasure of getting to know for any period of time.. this is also for you. To anyone that has seen me at my highest or at my lowest..this is for you. To anyone that I may have shared a memory with.. thats right, this is for you. To anyone that I've allowed myself to get close enough to open up to.. this is for you. From cocktails and smokes, to shopping and late night bowling.. this is for you.

I do believe people are brought into your life for a reason.. I also believe some people are brought into your life in seasons.. Just because they're here today, gone tomorrow, doesn't mean you should let them go completely, you never know when that could be the one that is left when everyone else has gone.

Everything happens for a reason. But I can honestly say, I don't have a single regret in my life.. its what helped make me who I am today.

Thank you :)
?-Katie

Why Nice Girls Finish Last

When the phrase "nice guys finish last" comes up, the usual response is followed with a nod of agreement. But what about all the nice girls out there who finish last as well?

That single saying for as long as I can remember always pertained to men and only men. Still, to mix things up, think about what happens to nice girls and how they are perceived in a relationship setting.

Starting off by stating the obvious rules of what a nice guy is will carry over into what a nice girl is. When a nice guy befriends a girl, he automatically establishes himself as a friend who will listen to her every care, worry or whatever else in the world she wants to talk about but right off the bat that might set him up for a disaster.

What do a lot of girls do when they have a bad day? They go and talk to their girl friends and explain almost every detail of what went wrong, all the way down to the color of the shoes someone is wearing. When a girl can find a boy's perspective on situations, she will use it to her advantage, especially if she sees him as only a friend. Then what happens to the guy? He's stuck in this limbo where he's nice enough to value his friendship, but at the same time he can't move any farther in relationship terms with his new friend who is a girl.

Nevertheless, girls get played like this as well. When trying to get a guy, she tries to dress all-cute and talks to him, but not in a way that she does to any other friend. On the male side of things, they see this sweet and innocent girl who is fun to talk to. But what happens when she's placed against a party girl or a girl who dresses just as cute, but then throws in a dash of hot? Then what's going to happen to that nice girl?

Of course, she is going to get pushed to the back burner and as a nice and understanding girl will be there for her guy friend to listen to all of his worries, cares and thoughts. Which of course aren't as in-depth but are still there. The girl who didn't want to sound pushy or desperate is now dropped like she's not hot and left in the friend territory and, even worse, looked upon as a sister figure.

When girls are aggressive toward boys that means they are desperate and needy, but then on the other side of the spectrum when it comes to a guy, he's smooth and confident. Though if pulled off correctly, a girl can come across as confident instead of desperate with the right wording and presentation. But how does a cute and trusting girl find a guy who appreciates all the attributes a girl like that can give? How does she stop being interested in a guy before he starts to lead her on?

When a nice girl is put into the friend zone it's kind of like the limbo nice guys fall into. As far as nice girls go, they are usually very trusting and believe this guy who is talking with them is going to end up being a good guy. Little does she know he is talking to her as just a friend and also as a cool girl to hang out with. Fortunately, there are some steps in avoiding this rut and it all comes down to attitude and wording.

If a woman is chatting up a guy who she could end up having feelings for, the conversation shouldn't turn into a ranting fest about your day. Sorry to spoil everyone's dreams, but most guys don't want to hear every detail of your day. Unless they are a nice guy and have the patience to sit there and listen to everything. The topic of conversation should be light and easygoing. The last thing she or he wants to hear is some speech on how President George W. Bush's tax breaks for the wealthy are wrong.

Keeping the conversation simple, light and not in too much depth will hopefully have them coming back for more. No life stories, if they are genuinely interested, it will come with time. So just remember boys, you aren't the only ones who get the "nice person" rap. Look around you, your closest friends who are girls could fall into this "nice girl" category. Maybe next time you see them you'll appreciate them more.

Something To Consider

Hello Ladies and Gents!

I got to thinkin' the other night while chatting it up with my patna in crime, Amy, what is the real purpose to a relationship? What is it that you need from someone else that you cant get for yourself? Piece of mind? Companionship? Love?

Now, although Ive had my fair share of relationships, being single has made me realize just how much more fun I can have.. Ive had the opportunity to find out who I am since this is the first real time Ive been single since ohhh.. Nov '03? Not only that, but Ive made myself a better person (new pics to follow soon, stay tuned :P) and its given me time to heavily evaluate if getting into another relationship is right for me.

But on the real, is it not easier to actually accomplish what you want while you are by your lonesome? I make my own money, I have a car.. not too interested in owning my own home only because I see just how jacked the mortgage market is and I don't think things will be recovering any time soon. So with that.. HOORAY FOR APARTMENTS!!

Then again on the flip side, being in a relationship does have its advantages as far as being able to depend on someone to be there all the time, no matter what you're feeling. But where do you find such a person these days? Most guys only want 1 of 2 things.. booty or money. Take your pick gents.. I'm not gonna say that only wanting some booty is a real bad thing, as long as both parties involved understand what the terms of the arrangement are, there shouldn't be a problem or any misunderstandings. Really, when everything works out the way its supposed to, its an oh, so beautiful thing.. *sigh*.. moving on.

Anywho, this isn't intended to put anyone on blast.. so if you're offended by this.. you're probably doing something wrong. Take a minute, re-evaluate, get yourself back together, cowboy up, and keep it movin'.

I guess what I'm getting at here is.. what happened and at what point in time was it decided that relationships were basically a benefit of life? If you're in a relationship, how do you know that your relationship is free of third parties? With so many outlets today, its SO easy to be unfaithful and even easier to keep it a secret. May I also point out, if being with that special someone is important enough to introduce marriage.. why is it after month 3 or 4 its over? What is going on?

Now I'm not gonna sit here and say I don't want any part of a real relationship, because there is nothing I would love more than to have the adoring husband, 2.5 kids, family dog and the white picket fence. Am I going to find it.. I SERIOUSLY doubt it. If I do, then lemme give my hallelujahs and amens now cuz I'm sure myspace wont be around once it happens.

So.. quiz time kids.. If you have been paying attention, Ive asked a boat load of questions here and if you think you can provide me with an answer to all of them, then by all means! My eyes are wide open and to those of you who have my number.. my phone is on! Please help me try and understand this!

All comments are appreciated here people!! Thanks!

Today, March 31, 2007 marks the 2 year anniversary of my grandmother's passing. Although it is a sad day I try to keep it happy with the memories that we shared. Grammy was like my second mother. If ever I needed advice, she was always the one I would turn to. I always took pride in the fact she would always say I was 'grandma's girl' and I always admired the fact that she loved unconditionally. It seemed no matter what obsticle stood in her way, with some faith an a lot of prayer, she always found a way out. She was the strongest individual I have ever known, she never cared what people thought or what they said. She would always call herself the $5.00 grandma, simply because, it didn't matter how old you were.. you could always count on grandma's birthday card to have $5.00 in it. I miss my grammy a lot...it hasn't been the same with out her. Sometimes I catch myself picking up the phone to call her, just to chat.. then I realize.. I can't. I know she is in a better place, I thank God for that everyday. I know she is truly happy and no longer in pain. I know that everyday I think of her, she is thinking of me too and smiling down at me. I love you grammy, and I miss you terribly.