Why Nice Girls Finish Last

When the phrase "nice guys finish last" comes up, the usual response is followed with a nod of agreement. But what about all the nice girls out there who finish last as well?

That single saying for as long as I can remember always pertained to men and only men. Still, to mix things up, think about what happens to nice girls and how they are perceived in a relationship setting.

Starting off by stating the obvious rules of what a nice guy is will carry over into what a nice girl is. When a nice guy befriends a girl, he automatically establishes himself as a friend who will listen to her every care, worry or whatever else in the world she wants to talk about but right off the bat that might set him up for a disaster.

What do a lot of girls do when they have a bad day? They go and talk to their girl friends and explain almost every detail of what went wrong, all the way down to the color of the shoes someone is wearing. When a girl can find a boy's perspective on situations, she will use it to her advantage, especially if she sees him as only a friend. Then what happens to the guy? He's stuck in this limbo where he's nice enough to value his friendship, but at the same time he can't move any farther in relationship terms with his new friend who is a girl.

Nevertheless, girls get played like this as well. When trying to get a guy, she tries to dress all-cute and talks to him, but not in a way that she does to any other friend. On the male side of things, they see this sweet and innocent girl who is fun to talk to. But what happens when she's placed against a party girl or a girl who dresses just as cute, but then throws in a dash of hot? Then what's going to happen to that nice girl?

Of course, she is going to get pushed to the back burner and as a nice and understanding girl will be there for her guy friend to listen to all of his worries, cares and thoughts. Which of course aren't as in-depth but are still there. The girl who didn't want to sound pushy or desperate is now dropped like she's not hot and left in the friend territory and, even worse, looked upon as a sister figure.

When girls are aggressive toward boys that means they are desperate and needy, but then on the other side of the spectrum when it comes to a guy, he's smooth and confident. Though if pulled off correctly, a girl can come across as confident instead of desperate with the right wording and presentation. But how does a cute and trusting girl find a guy who appreciates all the attributes a girl like that can give? How does she stop being interested in a guy before he starts to lead her on?

When a nice girl is put into the friend zone it's kind of like the limbo nice guys fall into. As far as nice girls go, they are usually very trusting and believe this guy who is talking with them is going to end up being a good guy. Little does she know he is talking to her as just a friend and also as a cool girl to hang out with. Fortunately, there are some steps in avoiding this rut and it all comes down to attitude and wording.

If a woman is chatting up a guy who she could end up having feelings for, the conversation shouldn't turn into a ranting fest about your day. Sorry to spoil everyone's dreams, but most guys don't want to hear every detail of your day. Unless they are a nice guy and have the patience to sit there and listen to everything. The topic of conversation should be light and easygoing. The last thing she or he wants to hear is some speech on how President George W. Bush's tax breaks for the wealthy are wrong.

Keeping the conversation simple, light and not in too much depth will hopefully have them coming back for more. No life stories, if they are genuinely interested, it will come with time. So just remember boys, you aren't the only ones who get the "nice person" rap. Look around you, your closest friends who are girls could fall into this "nice girl" category. Maybe next time you see them you'll appreciate them more.

Something To Consider

Hello Ladies and Gents!

I got to thinkin' the other night while chatting it up with my patna in crime, Amy, what is the real purpose to a relationship? What is it that you need from someone else that you cant get for yourself? Piece of mind? Companionship? Love?

Now, although Ive had my fair share of relationships, being single has made me realize just how much more fun I can have.. Ive had the opportunity to find out who I am since this is the first real time Ive been single since ohhh.. Nov '03? Not only that, but Ive made myself a better person (new pics to follow soon, stay tuned :P) and its given me time to heavily evaluate if getting into another relationship is right for me.

But on the real, is it not easier to actually accomplish what you want while you are by your lonesome? I make my own money, I have a car.. not too interested in owning my own home only because I see just how jacked the mortgage market is and I don't think things will be recovering any time soon. So with that.. HOORAY FOR APARTMENTS!!

Then again on the flip side, being in a relationship does have its advantages as far as being able to depend on someone to be there all the time, no matter what you're feeling. But where do you find such a person these days? Most guys only want 1 of 2 things.. booty or money. Take your pick gents.. I'm not gonna say that only wanting some booty is a real bad thing, as long as both parties involved understand what the terms of the arrangement are, there shouldn't be a problem or any misunderstandings. Really, when everything works out the way its supposed to, its an oh, so beautiful thing.. *sigh*.. moving on.

Anywho, this isn't intended to put anyone on blast.. so if you're offended by this.. you're probably doing something wrong. Take a minute, re-evaluate, get yourself back together, cowboy up, and keep it movin'.

I guess what I'm getting at here is.. what happened and at what point in time was it decided that relationships were basically a benefit of life? If you're in a relationship, how do you know that your relationship is free of third parties? With so many outlets today, its SO easy to be unfaithful and even easier to keep it a secret. May I also point out, if being with that special someone is important enough to introduce marriage.. why is it after month 3 or 4 its over? What is going on?

Now I'm not gonna sit here and say I don't want any part of a real relationship, because there is nothing I would love more than to have the adoring husband, 2.5 kids, family dog and the white picket fence. Am I going to find it.. I SERIOUSLY doubt it. If I do, then lemme give my hallelujahs and amens now cuz I'm sure myspace wont be around once it happens.

So.. quiz time kids.. If you have been paying attention, Ive asked a boat load of questions here and if you think you can provide me with an answer to all of them, then by all means! My eyes are wide open and to those of you who have my number.. my phone is on! Please help me try and understand this!

All comments are appreciated here people!! Thanks!

Today, March 31, 2007 marks the 2 year anniversary of my grandmother's passing. Although it is a sad day I try to keep it happy with the memories that we shared. Grammy was like my second mother. If ever I needed advice, she was always the one I would turn to. I always took pride in the fact she would always say I was 'grandma's girl' and I always admired the fact that she loved unconditionally. It seemed no matter what obsticle stood in her way, with some faith an a lot of prayer, she always found a way out. She was the strongest individual I have ever known, she never cared what people thought or what they said. She would always call herself the $5.00 grandma, simply because, it didn't matter how old you were.. you could always count on grandma's birthday card to have $5.00 in it. I miss my grammy a lot...it hasn't been the same with out her. Sometimes I catch myself picking up the phone to call her, just to chat.. then I realize.. I can't. I know she is in a better place, I thank God for that everyday. I know she is truly happy and no longer in pain. I know that everyday I think of her, she is thinking of me too and smiling down at me. I love you grammy, and I miss you terribly.